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Why I rarely watch television anymore

Oct 17, 2007 Pet Peeves

I rarely watch television these days because, quite frankly, there is little on worth watching.  I remember how my family would gather around the only television set in the house in my younger years to watch “Walt Disney”, “Little House on the Prairie”, “Wild Kingdom”, “Hee Haw” or one of the other wonderful old shows that we used to “get” on the single snowy channel that we could “pick up” with the giant antenna on top of our house “up in the holler”. Now that was a classic example of “quality” trumping “quantity”.

Today however, I can sit and click the remote up and down through hundreds of channels without finding a single program that really catches my attention. I’m sure Cheria thinks I have the attention span of a fruit fly when I’m in command of the remote, but the truth of the matter is I’m just trying to find something worth watching! With just a handful of exceptions, there is simply nothing on the “airwaves” today that even comes close to the quality of the classic old TV shows of days gone by.

But as bad as the modern-day programming is, the “commercials” are even worse! As I flip through the channels searching for quality entertainment (usually without success), I run across Abe Lincoln and a smart-alecky groundhog hawking a prescription sleeping pill to a guy with the personality of an igneous rock. Next, my ears are bombarded by a headache-inducing noise that is passed off as music while the TV screen changes scenes so fast that I get dizzy and have to close my eyes for a few seconds until the “party” is over.

Next, I run across one of those commercials that has no sound at all, making me wonder if I suddenly lost what was left of my hearing or if perhaps my TV set is on the blink! And just when I think it can’t get any worse, up pops an ad for a company or product that isn’t even featured in the commercial at all except for a tiny, fleeting picture or logo at the very end (by which time most people have either changed the channel or stopped paying attention). Having to endure these crazy commercials often makes me not want to watch the few shows that I actually like!

Of course there are a few commercials that still manage to effectively promote their products without driving me completely bonkers. For example, who would have thought that a lizard with an Aussie accent and a couple of cavemen would be able to sell auto insurance, but they seem to be quite successful at it. At least their “shtick” is done in a calm, humorous and relaxing way that leaves you with a positive image of the company and product being hawked. Yes, there are a few decent commercials being produced today, but in my opinion the garbage spewing out of Madison Avenue far exceeds the cream.

Sometimes I wonder if the companies who are spending millions of dollars a year on all of those ridiculous television ads are getting any return at all on their “investment”. I suppose they are or their shareholders would surely stop them from shoveling cash down a rathole, but I sure miss the good ‘ole days when an attractive, well-dressed actor or model would hold up a tube of toothpaste or stand beside a shiny new car extolling the benefits of the product in a calm, friendly, matter-of-fact way. But then I miss the good ‘old days for lots of reasons…and I doubt that I’m alone.