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Manners and common courtesy

Aug 25, 2007 My thoughts on...

Our society has changed a great deal in the last few years, and not for the better. Conduct, speech and lifestyles that were considered shameful not all that long ago are now apparently being considered normal, and a walk through any shopping mall reveals just how low our standards of decency have actually become. “Normal” isn’t normal anymore, and “freaky” is well on its way to replacing it.

I could go on and on about the way our young people are dressing and presenting themselves to the world these days, but I believe the root of the problem lies in their parents and grandparents – the people who are supposed to be leading them by example and teaching them how to live decent, moral lives. Case in point: I was standing in line at the pharmacy the other day when a lady who was probably in her 50′s just walked right up and jumped in front of me and about a half-dozen other folks who had been patiently waiting for quite some time.  We were all a bit shocked and saddened, but not surprised.

Of course I realize that “skipping line” isn’t a grave sin or anything, but it is a pretty good indication of a general lack of moral grounding and consideration for others. Sadly, this type of rude behavior is becoming quite common among adults, and our children and young teenagers are picking up on it.

I witnessed another disturbing occurrence at the grocery store a few nights ago. A young mother was pushing a toddler around in a shopping cart while an older child followed her around the store on foot. Of course the kids were begging for everything they saw, and when the older one began whining about “not getting anything” his mom turned around and yelled at the top of her lungs that he was just like his “stupid daddy”. She stood there berating the poor child for what must have been a good thirty seconds or more, using plenty of off-color language to help get her “points” across. The other shoppers in the vicinity just stood there as well, looking on in disbelief as she completely humiliated the child.

I can certainly understand how a kid can get on a parent’s frazzled nerves, but surely she could have chosen a more civilized and level-headed way to address the problem – especially with the scene unfolding in such a public place. When her little tirade was over, she turned to the “audience” and apologized - but the damage had already been done. It was actually quite a sad thing to watch, and a handful of impressionable youngsters witnessed the entire thing.

I remember how my own mom used to deal with me in similar situations: She would give me a stern look and say “if you don’t stop that right now, you just wait till we get home”. And I would stop immediately because I had been down that road before and I knew just exactly what “just wait till we get home” meant. There was no yelling, cursing or public humiliation involved, just a simple, barely-audible warning that my actions were unacceptable, and if they continued the consequences would be quite unpleasant. Mom “ruled” us kids with a stern hand, but we knew what she expected of us and she never had to resort to “making a scene” to get us to do what she told us to do.

I have a theory about why our society is losing its moral foundation, common courtesy and mutual respect, and it all goes back to the much-hyped “separation of church and state”. I believe it is no coincidence that things started “going downhill” when they took prayer and the Bible out of our schools. For many children, the only moral training they ever received came from their school teacher, and ever since the 1970′s that void has gone unfilled.

How can we expect a child to grow up respecting others and treating them with kindness if he/she is never taught why and how to do so? Learning manners, common courtesy, and a sense of right and wrong is no different than learning math, science and history. These attributes must be taught in order for children to learn them, and when parents don’t know how to conduct themselves in a proper manner, how can they possibly teach their kids to do it? Until we as a nation wake up and realize that the status quo is leading us down a path to destruction, things are only going to get worse and worse.

“And as ye would that men should do to you, do ye also to them likewise.”  –Luke 6:31

If that scripture sounds familiar, it should. It’s the basis for what many of us know as “The Golden Rule”. How much better would our society be today if that verse were taught in our classrooms right along with math, science and history?