Friendship

Friendship is a special bond between two people that lies somewhere on the scale between a casual acquaintance and love. True friendship can neither be bought or sold, only given freely without expecting anything whatsoever in return.
 
Many children and teenagers have skewed perceptions of what and who a friend really is. I think my dad had it pretty much nailed when he used to tell us kids: “A true friend would never try to talk you into doing something that could get you into trouble or hurt you in some way. A true friend only wants to help you!”. Dad was a pretty wise man, and I have seen the truth of that definition proven over and over throughout the years in my own life and the lives of virtually everyone around me.
 
Through personal experience and the experiences of the people I love, I have compiled a list of people who should never be considered your friend:
 
1 – Anyone who encourages you to break the law. For example, smoking pot, stealing gas and going for an 80 mile-per-hour joyride down a narrow country road might sound like a good time, but it’s a recipe for disaster in more ways than one, and anyone who invites you to participate in something like that is definitely NOT your friend.
  
2 – Your lawyer. Sometimes you just might find yourself needing an attorney, but always bear in mind that your lawyer is NOT your friend, he’s your paid legal representative. As such he has a legal and moral responsibility to represent your interests in a court proceeding, business deal or whatever you are involved in that requires his assistance, but by no means is he your friend. His goals and preferred resolution of the “case” might be a bit different from yours, especially whenever a monetary settlement is at stake.
  
And always remember this: The same attorney who is representing you in today’s matter could easily be representing your adversary in the next one. Does that mean he is a bad person, or that he is unethical in his dealings with his clients? Not at all. It simply means that his ultimate goal is the same as it would be if he was a plumber or a dentist – to make money. And sometimes a lawyer’s goal of making money can be at odds with the best interests of his client.
  
3 – Your insurance adjustor. Insurance is a wacky game where a salesman will go to great lengths to explain all the benefits provided by an insurance policy, only to have the adjustor work just as hard at helping the insurance company make good on as few of the promised benefits as they can get away with whenever you need to file a claim.
  
Insurance companies make their money by managing risk and writing policies accordingly, and their actuaries have the ability to predict within a very small margin of error how many claims they’ll have to pay out over a given period of time. Should you happen to be one of the unlucky folks who end up having to file a claim, you can rest assured that getting a settlement you think is fair is probably not in the cards – and it’s your insurance adjustor’s job to see that you don’t.
  
Now, let’s take a look at some folks who really are your friends:
  
1 – Your parents. For the vast majority of us, there is no one on the planet who is more interested in your happiness, your success and your future than your mom and dad, and you can feel pretty confident that the advice they give you is truly in your best interest. There are exceptions to any rule of course, and unfortunately there  are some parents out there who don’t love their children as much as they should, but by and large the vast majority of them are looking out for their kids and want to see them turn out happy and successful in life. If you’ll trust the advice and judgment of your parents more than that of your peers, you’ll probably be glad you did somewhere down the road.
  
2 – Your teachers. Based upon my own personal experience, I know this one might be a bit hard to believe, but most teachers really care about their students and want them to reach their full potential. The teachers that give the most homework usually aren’t being “mean” or “spiteful”, they’re simply doing what they think is best for helping you become prepared to go on to college – and eventually the working world.
  
3 – The leaders in your church. We have all heard the stories of priests abusing children and pastors fleecing the flock, but those are really the exceptions, not the rule. The odds are great that the people who work in your church are doing it because they feel led of the Lord to help spread His gospel and help people live the kind of lives they need to live. And then of course we have…
  
4 – Jesus. The greatest friend you will ever have here on planet earth is the Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ, and while there are exceptions to every one of the cases mentioned above, you can ALWAYS count on Jesus to have your best interests, your future, and your salvation as His number one priority! Others may fail you, but Jesus never will. Please feel free to click here to find out how to invite Jesus into your life!
  
Conclusion: One of the most important skills you will ever develop in life is the ability to determine whether someone is truly your friend or not, and hopefully these guidelines will help you in that regard. In no way are the lists above all-inclusive – and there are exceptions to every rule (except for the one about Jesus). Just remember that people aren’t always as they seem and you’ll be able to look through the fog and determine how someone really feels about you and what his true goal is in his dealings with you.